New Chapter

Last Wednesday I finally went in to get my umbilical hernia fixed after about 2.5 years of waiting.

When our daughter was two, I had trouble with pain in my middle and couldn't recover my abdominal muscles, which is a big deal for a dancer, runner or Pilates instructor. I visited a doctor who told me that I still had a split and that I should see a plastic surgeon. I visited one who told me that not only did I have a big diastasis split but that I had an actual hernia in my belly button. It was small, but still it was there. She thought that the hernia was the cause of my discomfort. The surgery was extensive with a long recovery and I needed to not be nursing anymore. So I waited.

Then during a rehearsal last year I suddenly came down with a bout of nausea. I ran to the mirror. Something was pushing out of the skin of by belly button. Ugh. So I pushed it back in and felt better almost immediately. Time to get this fixed. But there was no time for a 2 month break. So I continued to wait.

Our daughter is about to start kindergarten this August and will be five. Most of my clients are taking some kind of break in July and our friends will be around to have our daughter over for playdates. My parents booked a flight and a long stay. We found a nanny.

The repair of my umbilical hernia and rectal diastasis was done last week. Insane. Intense. I hope never to have to do this again and I just can't believe that some women do this simply for aesthetic reasons. That's some dedication to the mirror.

Now it's not quite a week later and I can nearly stand up again. When the doctor stitches up the two split halves of the rectus, not to mention the hernia repair, you wind up curled like a shrimp. Ow. I won't go into the more gory aspects of it, but the first week is nasty. I heal pretty quickly, so although it's not quite been a week, the first drain came out yesterday and I feel more human. Yesterday's visit included to the doctor's instructions to "start standing up." Easy enough for him to say. So that's what I've been doing all day yesterday and today - putting my hands to the sides of my ribs and trying to stand, breathe and think all at the same time. That's about all I can cover with my available brainpower.

Starting from scratch.

I'm dreaming of the day I can lay down, do some deep core work, warm up my legs and then get outside to feel the ground with my feet again. The doctor assured me that in three months that my abdominal muscles will work so much better that I won't need the extensive preparation I've had to use for the last 5 years to avoid hurting myself. I hope so.

Today I skirted the "no lift, no push, no pull, no carry" clause by tossing clean laundry onto the bed with my toes. Ha. I did fold with my hands, though.

One step at a time.